How can you live when pieces of you are scattered all over the world? How when you have given each part of you to those you hold dear and yet at the same time you cannot grasp by touch? At times there is hollowness, and this sort of lonely feeling is hard to live by... The only recompense are the thoughts, the memories and the fact that though you have given yourself away... there are those who hold you like a treasure, accepted you with open arms and cradle you in their hearts...
Pieces of me may be scattered, but oddly enough, I am kept whole.

It has been a tough week at school and at work. Life seems to go so fast and yet fatigue seems to run so slowly that I feel it in every vein. This week I find it so hard to focus because at the back of my mind, I guess a lot of things are playing... questions, regrets, if's, possibilities, confusions, insecurities and maybe even more that I still do not know. It's quite a bad time really as it is midterms and I am worried no school stuff is going in my head.

Along with this confused scattered feeling, is the missing of Hong Kong and just the everydays I seemed to take for granted back then. Mat by the way is going to HK for his junior term and I am so happy for him... in my heart though there is a slight twinge of fear... My friendship with Mat hasnt changed a bit since I left for HK, I even think it got stronger... but so much of other friendships and other things have changed for me... that I wonder how Mat will be when he comes home. Nonetheless, I am glad that he might be able to experience all the fun I had, and I hope that he could meet friends, the way I met my friends in HK who will always be special to me.

I just realized I have been handling so much things internally ever since late October and even now when I am back at home it still feels the same way. I want to shout out all that I am feeling and yet I know that those who will hear it will comprehend but never fully feel what it is like inside... Thus, no one will be able to understand on a deeper level all the things I am thinking of.

I havent been going out with my barkada. The last time seein some of em was at a party that not even one of us organized. I find it weird and a bit sad these days that we see each other on the events that other people plan. I guess I should have been doing my part of organizing as well but I just feel tired and in some way changed as to not be so bothered about not going out. Some things do really change I guess...

Played bowling today and it was a good game until my final set wherein I scored quite a bit low 120 from the previous 153 and 183. After caught Fearless which was quite nice really. Too bad it's Jet Li's last film... now I wonder who'll be doing the martial arts films...

Still trouble sleeping... my sleeping patterns now are totally screwed and weird... trouble sleeping as I think of Hk as well and when I wake up I still do so it is quite tough. Luckily days at school are okay although lessons are a bit of a pain and I do get to talk to Mat and Lao, email Queenie and send text to people in HK though they seem to busy to reply but well, it still feel like talkin to them in a sense so I guess it should do for now.