Excerpt taken from my email to Chris

...

I hate it that my life always seems to be so complicated, or I make it complicated... and that I have to be emotional... and that things with friends never seem to end... that I duno what else people ask from me when I dont think I can give anymore... I hate it that I thought this good friendship with --- would be always there, that I would weather the distance and the challenges... I hate it that youre far away and that sometimes you feel bad with friends because you dont deserve that at all... I hate it that though im here, the people who I enjoy being with the most feel so distant cause mat is busy, I'm busy, you're there in aussie, queenies in new york, pat in hk... I hate to have been given a chance to experience such a great thing... for it to be just a disguise of greater hurt... I hate it that I never give up on some people, that I care too much...

God maybe could slap me now if He sees me writing this... I know there are so much more problems in the world, people who are experiencing more challenges... I have always had faith though.. despite that I know that I've been broken so many times... I still believe in Him, not to give me the answers to everything or to eventually make things better, but I just simply believe in Him and that He loves me as well.