Nowadays those things that make me happy before no longer do. Sometimes I think I grew up so suddenly (personal growth that is) that I find it hard to keep up. There are times that I wish I did not but then looking back, I like who I am now - more steady, more focused, decisive.

Those things/people that were my world here before seem all of a sudden to be very mundane. They do make me happy but now there is a sense of incompleteness in all of it... something lacking. It's that something that makes you just light up each morn when you wake up... that little exciting thrill... that grateful contentment. At present I find myself confused, anxious and reminscing.

Not that I'm totally lost... I know somehow that happy feeling is out there. I know that it can be found those things/people that are very far from me now, our lives separated by ocean and time. I'm sure that too contributes to this feeling of lacking... Sometimes chatting, mobile calls and email just doesn't cut it... and of course, everyone gets busy and tangled up in things... it would have been so much better if we all get tangled up in the same stuff like we used to... but because of distance and different paths now, we don't have that chance. It would be all so simple if I was there or they were here...

But reality tells me I'm here where I am now, and here where I am I want to feel happy once more... I just don't know how to or where to find it.