Lately, I don't feel like writing. I guess there are times when things are so heavy to carry that it's hard to put them down into words. But I need to start writing... I just need to.
~
Yesterday, we went to Gar's for a belated birthday visit. We got to the cemetery at around 8 pm, lit some candles and brought some snacks he would enjoy if he were still alive. I sat there staring at the dark glass. I couldn't see inside the mausoleum as it was pitch black. Yet I still saw his smiling face in my mind; tears still flowed down my eyes. It's been 6 months but it seems like an eternity. I still miss you Gar. I still wonder what you'd tell me if you were here. I still feel bad that you fought for life so much when I seem on the brink of giving up.
~
I still have no words as to how things will be with us. Despite everything, I don't know where I get the strength to hold on. No, actually I do know. It's called brotherhood. I chose a different path this time, and I never regret that choice. You are that person to me, and nothing and no one can ever change that for me.
