I feel like I have been fighting for love all my life.
At home it always seemed like a battle for positioning, as to who is the favorite kid, who was the proper family, who had more rights to be loved, who you needed to please - I'm tired of it. Sometimes I couldn't care any less.
With people who I choose to love, it seems like, it's never enough... there's something missing, some issue. Sometimes it's tiring. Sometimes I just want to stand still and see if you love me, if there was nothing I did, just be me, would you still?
I'm tired of this already. Maybe it's about time I gave up, because you did give up on me... But why am I still fighting for what we had each day? Why? When you told you have moved on, when your actions suggest disinterest, as if what we had amounted to nothing.
Sometimes it's just real hard but I am here, not for anything else, but for you, just you. I wish you would see that. I wish you would see beyond the petty fights. Beyond everything there is and just see that I love you and I always will.
I'm angry. I'm confused. Hurt. But none of that amounts to this feeling I still have, which is love. And I won't say that I wish I didn't love you - because I do, and even if there are times when it's so so tough... still nothing changes. Still I love you.
