It's 2:30 in the morning and I just woke up suddenly. My head is spinning in a thousand different places yet it does not bother me as much as the heavy feeling I bear inside.

So much change has happened in this year, and I just want to shout "halt!". I miss so much of the old stuff and at this moment I feel so helpless with how tomorrow can just bring a sudden shift of events.

I spent my birthday in Berlin this year, far more grand than that of last year's celebration at Katips. But was it more meaningful? happier? The answer to that is easy.

I miss the bowling team a lot. It was a big part of my life that I did not want to let go of. But at that moment I was given a choice to be the person that I had to be, the friend that I needed to be and the brother that you deserved.

Despite not regretting my decision knowing that it was for your happiness, it doesn't make the choices I made any easier. Only if the world could have halted at some point wherein we were all happy...

Yet the world turns each day and we must keep up with it.

Casey, Kev, Scott, Jaki and Tot - I miss you guys a lot.